Rape

Sometimes it happens on a date with someone familiar; sometimes it's done by a stranger; sometimes by a family member or someone close. Let's answer some very tough and honest questions about this painful subject.

What are some
feelings that many
people go through
after they
experience
a rape?

Here are a few of the common lies that Satan feeds to people who have been sexually abused. As you read this, keep in mind that a whole paragraph may not apply to you, but maybe part of it will. All of the things listed below are lies and/or resulting feelings from lies:

"I am dirty because of what happened to me. My life is ruined. A good person will not want to marry me now. If I'm already married, then a good person will not want me anymore. I will always be damaged. I will never be happy. My body parts are dirty. God could never want me after what happened."

"I'm so ashamed. It's my fault. I just let it happen. I am so stupid. I am so ignorant. I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have been there. I shouldn't have worn that. I should have known better. I should have told somebody. I started it. I shouldn't have kissed him. I should have seen it coming."

"Sometimes I still feel trapped, even though the rape is over now. I am overwhelmed. Even God can't help me now. Everything is out of control. I'm too small to do anything. I'm too weak to resist."

"I'm afraid that someone is gong to hurt me like that again. I don't know what to do. If I tell anybody, they may come back to get me. Something bad will happen if I tell. They are going to get me. I believe that I will be raped again at some point."

"I am invalid. I'm not worth much. I am unimportant. I was a mistake. I'm not loved, needed, wanted, cared for, or important. I am not acceptable. I am a burden."

"This is hopeless. It's never going to get any better. There's no way out of this pain. I have no reason to live. Nothing good will ever come out of this. There's nothing that I can do to make this any better."

"I'm all alone. I can't trust anyone. Nobody will believe me. There is nobody to protect me. No one even cares."

"Everything is so confusing. I'm so confused. I don't know what's happening to me.  Why would they do this to me?"

"God, where were
You when I
needed You?
Don't You
care?"

Psalms 55:17 --- Morning, noon, and night I plead aloud in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice.

Psalms 118:5 --- In my distress, I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and rescued me.

Psalms 10:17 --- Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them.

Psalms 119:76 --- Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant.

Pain can be part of living here in a very sinful world. Sometimes, there is pain beyond what many of us can imagine, such as what someone who's been raped is forced to deal with.

Why does God allow people to sin? Because He has given people a free will... the ability to choose right from wrong. The person who hurt you chose wrong. Although we know that God doesn't desire or hope that these things happen, sometimes they do. God wants to help you through this difficult process of emotional healing. (If God is good, then why do bad things happen?)

God always desires to be close to us, but He desires to be especially close to those who are hurting. He wants to comfort you. Please let Him.

Did I have any
responsibility in
what happened?

Deuteronomy 22:25-26 --- If the man meets the engaged woman out in the country, and he rapes her, then only the man should die. Do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no crime worthy of death. This case is similar to that of someone who attacks and kills a neighbor.

Proverbs 16:29 --- Violent people deceive their companions, leading them down a harmful path.

Proverbs 24:2 --- They spend their days plotting violence, and their words are always stirring up trouble.

Rape is a violent act done against a person's will. 'No' means no. If this was done to you, then you should not let the lie "I am guilty" weigh you down. This false guilt is not from God, but from the devil. Don't let your heart believe the lie that you should feel guilty about this.

What if I did
something
that led
up to this?

For example, some ladies feel guilty because they think...

"I shouldn't have been with that guy"

or

"I shouldn't have worn those clothes"

or

"I shouldn't have kissed him"

 

Let's say, for example, that you were with a guy that your parents told you to not be with... you are guilty of disobeying your parents, but NOT guilty of the rape. You are guilty of one sin here, not two.

'No' means no. There is no way around that. When you say no, it means no. He should have respected that.

Don't let Satan tear you down by pouring false guilt into your heart. Fight this. Don't surrender your heart to his lies.

What does God
think about
a person
who rapes
someone
else?

Psalm 11:5 --- The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates everyone who loves violence.

Psalm 12:5 --- The Lord replies, "I have seen violence done to the helpless, and I have heard the groans of the poor. Now I will rise up to rescue them, as they have longed for me to do.

God hates violence, and He hates those who love it. They will be severely judged by God someday at the day of judgement.

What causes
someone
to rape
another
person?

Galatians 5:19 --- When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure...

When someone thinks long enough about committing evil things, they're probably going to act them out eventually.

Even if a 'good' guy on a date rapes a girl, it doesn't mean that he just 'suddenly lost control' and this temptation 'came out of nowhere.' It didn't 'come out of nowhere.' It was in his heart to do this, according to the Bible... even if it wasn't noticeable by anyone else.

Evil desires, left unchecked, will eventually find their way out into actions.

Should I take
revenge?

Psalm 94:1 --- O Lord, the God to whom vengeance belongs, O God of vengeance, let your glorious justice be seen!

Romans 12:19 --- Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, "I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it," says that Lord.

Romans 13:1-4 --- Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer.

Vengeance belongs to God, not us. We don't have the right to carry out justice on our own.

Justice is for the government to act upon. When they are done, then God finishes off with His added judgment on judgement day.

Vengeance is sin, and an unwise way to respond to someone who has inflicted pain on us, no matter how great that pain is.

You should turn this person in to the proper authorities so that God can judge them through the government authorities. Don't get in judgment's way by keeping this to yourself. This is not vengeance. This is justice, and the Bible says that God loves justice!

How do I deal
with feelings
of hatred
and
anger?

Psalm 37:8 --- Stop your anger! Turn from your rage! Do not envy others - it only leads to harm.

Ephesians 4:31-32 --- Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

If we fill our hearts and minds with God and his good things, then we will empty our heart and mind of anger, hatred, and plotting violence.

This will be a process. Take time to be with God as you go through this. Let him be your strength. Without Him, we can do nothing (John 15).

Do I have to
forgive?
Is there
no other way to
get healing?

Matthew 5:44 --- Love your enemies! Pray for them who persecute you!

Matthew 18:21-22 --- Peter came to him (Jesus) and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?" "No!" Jesus replied, "seventy times seven!"

Mark 11:25 --- When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.

Romans 12:21 --- Don't let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Christ forgave those who crucified Him on the cross. There is nothing harder than forgiving someone who has done something to greatly harm you, but there is also nothing more healing. If you don't fogive, then bitterness will eat away at you, and you'll end up getting hurt twice instead of once.

a promise
from God
to you...

Revelation 21:4 --- He will remove all of their sorrows, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. For the old world and its evils are gone forever.

This speaks of life in heaven. If you would like to make sure that you're going, please click here.